All my life I’ve done things that shouldn’t be done, said things that fired back like a shotgun. On that day, I continued my strategy, because it was the only thing that I remembered how to do.
It was a morning and I woke up on a beach, in an unknown country. I had a revolver in my right hand and a 7up drink in my left hand, but it all felt like I was 7 circles down in hell and the only thing I could think of was how not to go down the last two circles.
I woke up at a seaside bar, on that unknown beach and the morning light was demanding action. Everything was in disarray, so when I stood up in order to go to the actual bar area of the place, from where a terrible clinking noise was coming, I had to jump over all the chairs smashed, tables turned, hearts and hands broken.
I started walking and when I approached the bar I saw where the clinking noise was coming from. There was a man behind the bar, throwing glasses and bottles around, frantically looking for something which clearly was important to him. I reached the bar and sat quietly on a chair, the man did not seem to notice I was there. He continued searching for whatever he was searching, so I pushed the glass down the edge of the bar, it broke close to his feet, so he finally turned around and saw me. I kept the gun low in my right hand and rested my left hand on the bar.
‘Luna! I am so glad you’re fine. That explosion, I mean, they totally tricked us…’ he was talking so fast that his breath was not enough to sustain his words.
He knew me, I did not know him. Or maybe I did, but I did not remember him. His face looked familiar, but I could not place him nor remember what he was doing in my life.
‘What are you searching for?’
‘The flash drive with the recording, isn’t that what we came here for?!’ I sensed annoyance in his voice and it angered me. The man stopped his search and looked at me questionably. I slowly lifted the revolver, pointed it at him and cocked it.
‘Are you sure you don’t have it?’
‘Luna, calm down.’
‘Somehow I don’t believe you.’
‘We’ve been through so much, what are you doing?!’
‘Really? Like what? We’ve been through what exactly?!’
‘What is the matter with you, Luna?!’
I noticed the shadows his hands cast on the bar shake.
‘I’m not Sam, you need to calm down.’
After he said the name there was a sense of angst that ran down my back and reached my bare heels. Who was Sam? I did not remember him or his face. I lowered the gun.
‘Man, that temper of yours! Ever since we’ve gotten into this it has become worse…’ the man was talking while he continued his search. There was no longer annoyance in his voice, so my anger also dissipated.
‘Maybe it’s not a good idea to turn your back to me then.’
He glimpsed in my direction as I began helping him to search for the flash drive with the recording that I had no recollection about.
‘Look, Luna, I am not Sam, and I am sorry about what he did to you, I thought we were through this…you have to overcome this, it’s been 3 years since you’ve gotten out.’
I had no recollection of who that man was or what we were doing there. I did not even know what country we were in, or what we were trying to do. I did not remember Sam, I did not remember myself.
‘Look…I…’ I wanted to tell him so much, that I did not remember, that I did not know anything, but something was zipping inside of me, holding in and not wanting to be let out.
‘Ahm…’ I stopped again.
‘Don’t worry about it. You have always been like that. I am kind of used to it already.’
I nodded and continued searching for the flash drive, unaware of what was to come.