Tag Archives: eternity

Soul Disconnected

That’s not me who you see. That’s where I live. It’s not me who walks on those sidewalks, who goes up and down the stairs. It’s not me who crosses the street. It’s not me who looks at you. It’s what I look through. It’s where I live now. That’s where my eternity is put into boundaries. I’m in the `someday` and breathe through the `always`. I ramble. I gamble with the things my body does, so that I could stay here among you a little longer. Bodies are taught in dependence, whereas I had no teacher. I am the original sense, I am the authentic vibe. The common vibe. The one that goes between me and you, him and her, and then between all of us, and then….

I lost everything today and I haven’t felt more alive. In the endlessness. Fragment and defragment. You lose things in your touch with bodies. Something in the way I exist makes people feel doubtless. I got too close to what my body was doing and I got wounded by the mediocrity of the feelings it gets. Reason comes after, if it comes at all. I got lost in reason once. That’s when I start losing the vibe but it did not lose me. It came after me and got me by the hand, and then I smiled with a smile only closed eyes can see, and then I breathed again infinitely, and then…

I look at the wind and it reminds me what I am. I am ephemeral, I am eternal. I am here and I’m there. I’m too young in time to care. I only know how to dare cross all the lines they draw, and all the fields, all the mountains, all the seas and then…

I see the size of colours

The scope of the vibe.

And then….

The great escape.

November 2014


Mist

Little mooncalves crawl on the cold, cracked ground. They try to avoid what comes after death.
The rain melts, becomes one with the puddles.
It’s here. It’s right here. The chaos.
We’re howling for light, for salvation. How insane!
We lock ourselves in a dark room. We throw the key through the window and condemn ourselves to eternal waiting. We’re waiting for someone to find that key, to come and save us. And the truth is – no one is bound to do it. There’s no ‘must’ in all this. They’ll just walk, and walk, and walk, and never stop. You’ll start screaming. And no one will hear. Because the window in your room is closed. Why the hell did you lock yourself there?! But when you start smothering in your own air, you’ll open it. And you’ll pray and pray for somebody, anybody to hear the last of you…the very last of your mind…of your sanity.
It’s in human nature, I guess. The need of light, the need to hope. Imagination is everything – creates all that the soul craves for…just because it doesn’t exist…just because it can’t be achieved.